Contemplation

Not sure if that is a "real" word, contemplation, but it is in MY world, well at least today.
So the doctors FINALLY figured out what I have, BV. Bv is not an STD and it is normal among many woman. It is when your PH is off in your whoohaa and you have to take an antibiotic for it, which makes you vomit. I feel like the antibiotic is not working, so someone recommended Rephresh, so I will try that. Otherwise, I will finally getting a second opinion!!! After contemplating for weeks. I have been going through pre-menopause since I was 35!!!

Secondly, I would like to say that yes I am still a bit angry at my family for not informing me of my sisters breast cancer, but I forgive them, for they have done so much for me and I love them regardless....I have contemplated on this for too long, so it is time wasted to not forgive.

Ok.....So the property I work at is up for sale. We are hoping the company that buys it is Grosvner, because Pinnacle manages 50% of thier properties here in Washington. I am also hoping they keep us...Because I really don't want to be looking for a job, and stressing about our house payments. I even contemplate the future if we can't stay at Woodcreek....

Now at the subject of kids. I love my children, no matter what they throw at me. That is all I can say about that!

BREAST CANCER SUCKS!

It has been 8 years already and I still sob my eyes out when I think of her...Kelli, my beautiful, wonderful, loving, fun, smart, and gracious sister. Why does it always have to be the good ones??? I often cry and get very angry about it, and used to wonder "Why not me??" I was angry because NO ONE told me she was diagnosed in the first place! I didn't find out that she WAS sick until before I was going to California in 2000 for Thanksgiving with my kids, and my older Sister told me not to freak out because Kelli was still going through Chemo...I said "WHAT??? WHY???" NO ONE told me...Can you freakin believe it??? I don't mean to be selfish, but I didn't get to spend so much time with her, MY kids didn't get to meet till Thanksgiving...So I was HIGHLY pissed off at my family, and obviously still a little bit, for not letting me know. Then I get.." Well we didn't want to worry you..." Well thanks but at the sametime, I didn't get to spend anytime with her...so if I get a terminal disease, you can bet I am NOT telling anyone in my family till AFTER I have gone thru it, or maybe they will get a call from my husband telling them I have died...
Yes, I am being selfish, and bitter...I have that right. Yes it has been 8 years, BUT MY GOD NO ONE TOLD ME!!!!
I guess you can say I will be pissed off about it for a longtime.
So this month is "BREAST CANCER AWARENESS" month and I go all out, because I can't do the 3day walks like my darling cousins, I want to, but I have my obligations...Maybe sometime in the future it will happen.