It has been 8 years already and I still sob my eyes out when I think of her...Kelli, my beautiful, wonderful, loving, fun, smart, and gracious sister. Why does it always have to be the good ones??? I often cry and get very angry about it, and used to wonder "Why not me??" I was angry because NO ONE told me she was diagnosed in the first place! I didn't find out that she WAS sick until before I was going to California in 2000 for Thanksgiving with my kids, and my older Sister told me not to freak out because Kelli was still going through Chemo...I said "WHAT??? WHY???" NO ONE told me...Can you freakin believe it??? I don't mean to be selfish, but I didn't get to spend so much time with her, MY kids didn't get to meet till Thanksgiving...So I was HIGHLY pissed off at my family, and obviously still a little bit, for not letting me know. Then I get.." Well we didn't want to worry you..." Well thanks but at the sametime, I didn't get to spend anytime with her...so if I get a terminal disease, you can bet I am NOT telling anyone in my family till AFTER I have gone thru it, or maybe they will get a call from my husband telling them I have died...
Yes, I am being selfish, and bitter...I have that right. Yes it has been 8 years, BUT MY GOD NO ONE TOLD ME!!!!
I guess you can say I will be pissed off about it for a longtime.
So this month is "BREAST CANCER AWARENESS" month and I go all out, because I can't do the 3day walks like my darling cousins, I want to, but I have my obligations...Maybe sometime in the future it will happen.
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